On Friendship

The different  meanings of friendship

Italian version

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In astrology, the concept of friendship is associated with the eleventh House. On the plane of human experiences, this House represents the macrocosmic symbolism of the eleventh zodiac sign, Aquarius.

When studying astrology, it’s helpful – and also convenient from a mnemonic point of view – to create labels that connect a specific area of human experience with the corresponding astrological symbols. For example, the sign hosting the cusp of the House, the planets in the House, their relationships with the hosting sign, and the aspects they form with other planets in the chart provide enough information to outline the situation.

When interpreting an astrological chart, this approach is widely used as it helps translate various human experiences into a language that can be immediately understood by the person seeking the consultation. However, there are different levels of interpretation that not only shed light on the individual meanings of astrological symbols but also aim to explore the root causes of these manifestations, integrating specific aspects of life with the overall structure of the horoscope. Although it may seem random, the choice to focus on friendship in these reflections is actually an inspired one, probably linked to the very concept represented by the word. It’s an example of how we can achieve a deeper understanding of reality when we let go of obvious barriers and particularism.

Friendship in Philosophical and Religious Thought

In classical Greek philosophy, the concept of friendship (φιλία, philia) is interpreted in different ways. Empedocles ¹, in his work “On Nature,” views the eternal and unchanging elements of nature (fire, water, air, earth) as being influenced by the opposing forces of Love (φιλία) and Strife (νεῖκος, neîkos). These two principles act during cosmic periods in which one or the other dominates ². Again, according to the philosopher, there is a kind of connection between the essence of the element and its earthly counterpart, such as our fire, our water, etc., which are evident in the variety of the natural world and the functions of the human psyche. Interestingly, in “Lysis,” a work on friendship written by Plato in the form of a dialogue between various characters, including Socrates, φιλία is given a much broader meaning, which is close to that of ἔρως (eros), a passionate form of love.

Aristotle, in books VIII and IX of his Ethica Nichomachea (Nicomachean Ethics), extensively discusses friendship, dividing it into three types: the friendship of utility, based on mutual benefit and receiving something in return; the friendship of pleasure, involving the sharing of joys, pleasures, and fleeting emotions; and the highest form, the friendship of virtue, which is based on mutual respect, shared ideals and life, and the positive influence that arises from such a relationship. This form of friendship is the most enduring and satisfying, resembling a form of love (ἔρως) but founded more on giving than receiving. Aristotle’s discussion then extends to various relationships that fall within these friendship types, such as those between family members and spouses, and within the framework of the community (polis), which serves as the social bond through various constitutional models. For Aristotle, therefore, the concept of φιλία goes beyond today’s understanding of friendship as merely an affinity of feelings, affection, and esteem between individuals.

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Christianity embraced Aristotelian thought as the foundation of the concept of friendship, interpreting it as ἀγάπη, or agape, which represents the love of God for humanity and of humanity for God. In ancient Greek literature, the term ἀγάπη, although rarely present, signifies affection, such as love for family, children, or spouse, in contrast to eros, which includes passionate and sexual connotations. In some passages of St. Paul’s Epistles to the Corinthians, the word ἀγάπη is commonly – but not always – translated as charity:

Here, the term highlights the selfless meaning: the love for humanity in general, the willingness to give and sacrifice for others, and the altruism aimed at the well-being of others. In fact, for the early Christians, agape represented the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. Many biblical passages echo the idea of agape as a fraternal relationship that erases distances between individuals. For example, Leviticus 19:18 states, “…you shall love your neighbour as yourself,” which is reflected in the second commandment of Jesus in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. The Sermon on the Mount ³ further extends the concept of agape:

The concept of agape represents unconditional love, viewing evil as the absence of good. Christians have the responsibility of restoring balance by shining a loving light on the aspects of the human soul that remain in darkness. Essentially, agape is seen as an act that brings back the essential sense of creation, reuniting the spiritual with the divine, the created with the creator. It is the most profound form of friendship, essentially of a divine nature.

Agape as a fraternal convivium is still observed in some Christian denominations and Freemasonry. The religion of Thelema, derived from Aleister Crowley’s Book of the Law, includes the phrase, “Love is the law, the law under will.” While the doctrine of Thelema emphasises the importance of will, it also underlines the desire for a spiritual connection with the divine within each individual. This connection can only be achieved through love (agape), which binds the individual to the divine or, according to Thelemic belief, to their own inner Nature and other beings, without any use of coercion.

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Throughout the history of philosophy and religion, the concept of friendship has been known by different names and associated with various types of reciprocal human and social influence. However, it continues to represent a desire for connection and brotherhood between similar and dissimilar individuals. This is evident in the Aristotelian idea of friendship based on utility and Jesus’ teachings about loving one’s enemies. Empedocles also viewed friendship as a natural law arising from the interaction of the four fundamental elements in creation.

On the human level, friendship begins with recognising someone as different from us, of a presence that, in the first instance, is an “otherness” yet also a reflection of ourselves. It helps us become more self-aware and better able to engage with the world. To bridge this regime of separation between the “self” and the “other than oneself”, we need to learn how to communicate. That allows us to overcome the barriers that separate us from the outside world. Thus, friendship is a way for our consciences – in the different evolutionary stages – to rediscover the lost union and see ourselves reflected in others as we get closer to the image of the world.

Friendship in astrological symbolism

The first relationship we must consider when understanding friendship in terms of astrological symbolism is the opposition between zodiac signs or the Houses of the Horoscope; the latter represent the energies expressed by the zodiac signs on a human and contingent level. It’s important to note that opposite zodiac signs possess the same male or female polarity. That makes sense because this aspect represents a comparison at a distance between seemingly irreconcilable forces, much like how two magnets repel each other if they share the same polarity. The only way to resolve this equation and bring the two terms back to a state of equality is to view the forces involved as complementary expressions of the energy at play.

Fire and Air are the elements underlying the symbolism of the Leo-Aquarius couple. In its subtle aspect, according to the Hindu doctrine of Sāṁhkya, Fire is the essence of vision, the potential that allows the perception of forms and colours. In its gross manifestation, fire is the principle of expansion, which generates the molecular agitation we perceive as a sensation of heat. The element of Air, again according to Sāṁhkya, is the tactile potential whose analogue in manifestation is the skin and the hands (which touch the world); in Western esotericism, the element is treated tout court as a principle of communication, which is expressed for example in the gaseous exchange that occurs during the rhythmic process of breathing. In essence, the two descriptions coincide because it is always a question of putting the inside in communication with the outside, of creating a bridge between distinct entities.

The elements of Fire and Air interact with each other in a combustible-comburent reaction. For example, when wood catches fire, it produces energy in the form of light and heat due to the presence of atmospheric oxygen. That triggers a redox phenomenon, where oxygen gains electrons, and wood loses electrons through oxidation. This demonstrates how Fire and Air, in their essential aspect, can interact in a give-receive relationship without contradicting the principle of separation induced by the common positive sign. At a subtle level, in fact, the Fire element provides the potential for light and heat, while the Air element predisposes the manifestation of the fiery qualities. Basically, the essence of the elements does not rely on a causal exchange as occurs in the case of the manifest elements, as their principle does not reside in time. When considered in their subtle state, Fire and Air together represent the emergence of creative power.

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In astrology, contrasting the characteristics of Leo and Aquarius helps us understand the effects of fiery and airy energies on the zodiac, which, as we know, is a symbolic representation of seasonal changes. Leo represents the peak of summer, where solar heat is at its strongest and nature’s products reach maturity. On the other hand, Aquarius symbolises the harshness of winter, where the summer’s expansion recedes. Still, the seed in the frozen earth begins the growth process thanks to the process of biochemical osmosis with the fertile humus. The creative fire is present but internalised in the seed, ready to start the transformative path to manifest itself again fully. On a human level, Leo’s selfish nature compares to Aquarius’ universalistic openness, which is the foundation of sharing. This sharing gives rise to the concept of the individual, who must confront the multitude to exist and, in turn, gains a sense of individuality through joint participation. Just as fire needs oxygen to blaze, we must break the shell of the ego to manifest ourselves in the world.

The fifth and eleventh Houses represent values in a lived sense. The fifth House is associated with creativity, the free expression of the self, offspring, and artistic or intellectual pursuits. Play and recreational activities further demonstrate how an individual lives their uniqueness, reflecting the freedom to express their exclusive nature in line with the egoic nature of the co-significant sign of Leo. On the other hand, the eleventh House reveals the alter-ego of the fifth House, the necessary element that justifies the existence of the ego in a distinct form, emphasising the trans-individual or the expression of consciousness open to the collective and universality. It encompasses friendship, accepting differences, and expanding the sense of self to include those with whom we share common feelings or, in the most inspired cases, expressing a feeling of brotherhood toward all humanity. Agape and Eros, universal affection and passionate desire, sacred love and profane love symbolise this counterbalance.   

The Genesis of the Air Signs

As Aristotle points out, not all expressions of friendship are the same. Examining the triplicity of the Air signs helps us understand how friendship can take on different meanings based on circumstances and individual maturation.

The sign of Gemini is the first of the triplicity and represents the element of Air in its meaning of exchange and communication. It is the initial form of relationship between distinct entities, evident in nature through processes such as chlorophyll function in the plant kingdom and the gaseous exchange between the oxygen in the air and the respiratory organs of the animal kingdom. The third House, co-signifier of the sign, symbolises this relationship of proximity in its association with brothers and sisters, as they are closer in the bloodline. It also encompasses relationships with brothers-in-law, cousins, and neighbours, as well as short-distance travel, verbal or written communication, and small business dealings. Essentially, the House is linked to what denotes closeness without necessarily implying depth. In this sense, it is akin to the Aristotelian concept of philia, representing a form of friendship based on utility, where the exchange occurs almost automatically without necessarily involving altruistic motives but rather the acceptance of circumstances. For example, brothers and sisters are united by kinship, regardless of their mutual feelings, and merchants communicate with customers as part of their job, even if they may interact with them in a friendly manner.

The Air element in the sign of Libra represents the evolution of communication and exchange with the external world. It can be seen as a form of recognition. The distance between individuals is no longer a barrier to integration as we become aware of an objective reality that reflects our inner selves. That is evident when we refer to the seventh House, traditionally associated with partnerships, marriage, and relationships between individuals and the community through laws and judgments. With the Air of Libra symbolising a middle ground, it’s inaccurate to attribute an Aristotelian single type of friendship. There are elements of philia, which are integration through laws and affinity between individuals, as well as eros, representing union through love, albeit influenced by desire. Finally, agape is manifested as filial and conjugal affection but not yet elevated to a universal level.

The Air of Gemini and the mediating Air of Libra lead to the more subtle and refined Air of Aquarius and the eleventh House. Here, diversity is experienced with a spirit of participation and brotherhood. The focus is on various forms of friendship, from kindred spirit friendships to breaking down barriers between friends and enemies, as mentioned in the Sermon on the Mount. Additionally, the divine inspiration is represented in the figure of the Water Bearer, the Aquarius symbol blending celestial and earthly waters. The concept of Agape marks the culmination of a journey back to original unity, not chaotically and unconsciously, but through individuality that recognises itself as a reflection of the universe.

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Rabindranath Tagore, the Bengali poet known as the “lord of language,” expressed his deep connection to the cosmic and divine sense of friendship in a collection of beautiful verses. In one passage, he conveys God’s reciprocated love for human beings, which represents the highest form of agape:

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1. Empedocles (c. 494- c. 434 BC) of Akragas, present-day Agrigento in Sicily, was a Greek pre-Socratic philosopher. He is known for his cosmogonic theory on the four elements that form all the structures of the world, and for supporting the doctrine of transmigration. There are various legends about his death. According to some authors, he lived for 109 years, but myth has it that he either threw himself into the flames of Mount Etna to acquire immortality or was rejected by the eruption and carried to the heavens. ↩︎
2. Refer to Evil and the Kabbalah on this site for similarities with the Kabbalistic concepts of Grace and Justice. ↩︎
3. The Sermon on the Mount is a collection of teachings and sayings attributed to Jesus Christ. It emphasises the moral teachings found in the Gospel of Matthew and spans chapters 5 through 7. ↩︎