by A merciless self-analysis of the soul
The soul introspection stage of Step One involves an accurate self-analysis that reveals both positive and negative emotional and character traits. It may be tempting to downplay the importance of this activity, likening it to a psychological examination of one’s personality, but that would be a significant error in judgment. This phase is crucial for initiation, as the success of the hermetic preparation depends on it. Without the emotional balance that effective introspection provides, progressing in one’s development becomes challenging.
In this first part of the practice, we will focus on the negative aspects. Take a notebook, preferably one with tear-off sheets, and begin writing down your defects, negative traits, weaknesses, past mistakes, outbursts, deceit, betrayals, and misunderstandings, down to the most delicate nuances. Nothing should escape this close examination, especially the things we are most ashamed of and find challenging to confess, even to ourselves.
If you find this difficult, remember that you are not judging your actions; you are engaging in a deep meditation that brings your energies to light, allowing you to channel them productively. Nothing disappears; instead, everything can transform into something better. However, achieving this requires being ruthless with yourself. It can be an unsettling process, so it might help to find some entertainment or distractions to ease any emotional weight.
Using paper instead of a digital text editor makes the exercise more personal, and having tear-off sheets is helpful if you decide to revise or change something.
Bardon suggests that identifying a hundred defects is a sufficient target for self-improvement. While this number may seem high, it reflects the dedication we are willing to invest in personal development. Whether a larger or smaller number is appropriate is debatable, but considering even minor shortcomings can help us easily reach this goal.
Regarding the timing and methods of the practice, dedicating a few minutes in the morning and evening is adequate. If you notice one or more defects during the day, make sure to write them down immediately. Lastly, keep your notepad hidden from prying eyes, as the contents can be pretty personal.
This is one of the few exercises where Bardon sets a time limit of one to two weeks to complete the list of personal defects. The next step involves categorising these negative aspects according to the elements. This time limit helps prevent excessive fixation during the introspection phase. The purpose of the practice is, in fact, to initiate the inner transformation process rather than lead the practitioner into a cycle of self-pity.
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